I Think I Will
by AndAllThatMishigas
Summary: Post-ep for Dead Irish Writers (s3ep16)


**I Think I Will**

"I'm going to voluntarily forfeit my license for the duration of our stay in the White House."

All the noises of the party and the fanfare playing O Canada faded away in that moment. The only sounds he could hear were the pounding of his heart over the echo of the words his wife had just spoken. He just stared at her. He couldn't believe this was real. That she'd really said that. That Abbey was willingly giving up yet another thing for him. He averted his eyes away from her, almost ashamed of the situation he had put them in.

Abbey waited for his response. She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes, but she didn't dare let them fall; she didn't even blink them away. She knew he'd be angry at her sacrifice, but she didn't want to drag it out anymore. Time and time again he'd hated when she made decisions for them without consulting him, especially when he thought there was a fight to be won. But Abbey knew there was no fight this time. CJ and Amy were right. There was still so much she could do as First Lady. And Donna's words had struck her the deepest. Despite Leo's veiled attempts to prepare her for the worst, no one had come right out and told her the honest truth: she'd broken the law and violated medical ethics. No matter what the excuse or justification she had, she'd broken the law. It was time to stop fighting the inevitable and face the consequences of her actions.

Jed could feel her fear and anticipation for his response, and he didn't want to upset her anymore tonight. He glanced around before returning his attention to her and nodding. "Okay."

Abbey let some of the tension leave her body.

"I'm gonna do a toast and everything in a minute, and I'll tell the ditch story, but I wanted to say that I love you very much." He could hear the awkward stilted tone of his own voice but could do nothing to stop it.

Abbey gave a small smile, her relief shining through her eyes. But then she pursed her lips and replied, "I love you, too, Jethro."

"Don't call me that."

The tears were very near now. Her voice cracked. "I think I will," she said, mimicking the words she'd said to him the first time they'd met all those years ago.

Jed could have stared at her forever in that moment. Their relationship was full of playful teasing and good-humored flirting. They were free with their expressions of affection. But they had not had a sincere, earnest, bare moment of honesty like this in a very long time.

Their moment was cut short, however. "Abigail!"

The Bartlets turned to see the English Ambassador coming toward them. "Lord John!" Abbey greeted, trying to swallow the lump in her throat.

"May I grasp your breasts?" the Englishman asked, his hands poised in front of her.

"I'm standing right here!" Jed interrupted loudly.

Lord John Marbury merely laughed as he turned to greet the President.

"You may kiss my cheek," Abbey offered, preventing her husband's ire from spreading.

"Abbey."

They turned once again to see Leo. Despite their unpleasantness earlier, Abbey's smile at seeing her dear friend was sincere as she walked over to him and away from the lecherous Lord.

"I never got a chance to say happy birthday," Leo murmured, taking her hand to lead her to her seat. "Happy birthday, Abbey," he said as he kissed her cheek.

The rest of the crowd joined in their birthday wishes, raising their glasses for her as the Canadian national anthem played. She beamed as she looked out on the faces of her friends and colleagues. This might have been one of the worst days she'd had in quite a while, but at least the people she loved had all come to celebrate her. She felt her husband's hand settle at her waist and her heart skipped slightly. Even after all this time.

As the anthem ended, Jed raised a hand at the bandleader, and they sounded a quick fanfare. A steward came to give the President a microphone, and everyone in the room sat down. Jed pulled Abbey's chair out for her and she mouthed her thanks at him silently.

Jed gave his toast for her and she gazed up at him as he told that stupid ditch digger story. She could hear the laughter around her and she smiled, but she honestly didn't process one word Jed said during that toast. They'd said what needed to be said.

He finished his toast with another birthday wish and a chivalrous kiss on the back of her hand. She gently pulled him toward her as everyone applauded. Under the guise of kissing his cheek, she murmured in his ear, "When can we leave?"

He just nodded, waving Charlie over.

"Yes, sir?"

"Escape route, Charlie," he said simply.

Charlie nodded, familiar with this routine. "Sir, why don't you come with me now, and Mrs. Bartlet can follow in about two minutes."

"Dr. Bartlet," Jed corrected.

Abbey smiled sadly and placed a hand on his arm as he stood up. "Mrs. Bartlet," she insisted.

Jed turned to look at her, opening his mouth to respond, but he saw that look on her face. Her brow slightly raised, her supple mouth pursed determinedly. He remained silent.

After her husband left, Abbey addressed the others sitting at her table. "Thank you all so much for everything tonight. I haven't been the easiest person to be around lately, so thank you for pretending to like me for my birthday."

CJ and Josh both protested that statement while Leo laughed to himself.

"Well, if you'll all excuse me, I have to go find the President." Abbey stood up and walked away without a backwards glance.

Jed was waiting in the foyer just outside the ballroom, his hands in his pockets as he absentmindedly scuffed his dress shoes on the bottom stair. He looked up at the sound of high heels on marble floors.

"Goodnight, Charlie," Abbey said definitively as she walked by.

Offering her his arm, Jed turned back to his young aide. "Nothing tonight. Anything less than the Situation Room or my kids, I don't want to know."

Charlie nodded in understanding, watching the President and First Lady climb the stairs arm in arm, almost identical to how they'd come down a few hours earlier.

The Bartlets were silent as they went up to the Residence. The strategically-placed Secret Service Agents gave no visible indication that they noticed their protectees walk by. That was the way everyone liked it.

Jed finally let go of her arm when they reached the door. He held it open for her. She walked into their temporary home and immediately kicked off her shoes.

"Abbey," he began.

She held up her hand. "I don't want to do this."

"Abigail!"

"No! We are not going to do this, Jed. I've made my decision, and I don't want you wasting your time trying to change my mind!" she insisted.

"That's not what I was going to do," he said calmly.

"Oh?" She looked at him skeptically as she removed her jewelry.

He took off his jacket and laid it across the back of the sofa. "No. I just want to make sure you're really sure about this. Not trying to change your mind," he added, raising his hands in defense. "Just want to be a part of the process, if that's okay."

She softened considerably. "You got to stand up and admit to wrongdoing, and while people might not be pleased about what we did, you got to face it with dignity. I think I deserve the same courtesy. Even if it is a smaller stage."

"There is nothing dignified about a censure from Congress."

"There is nothing dignified about saying that breaking the law is excusable when a doctor administers drugs to her husband while he runs for President," she countered. Abbey sat down on the sofa with a heavy sigh. She looked to him with pleading in her eyes. "Let me do this. Let me make it all go away in one news cycle. Dragging out this fight doesn't help anyone."

He stayed quiet for a moment, considering her words. He didn't like them. "You don't deserve this, Abbey."

She gave a sad smile, once again ignoring the tears shining in her eyes. "This isn't about me."

"Yes, it is."

"No," she insisted. "It isn't. It's about the fact that you are the President and your wife is a doctor who broke the rules so you could become President. No matter how we want to color it, that's the truth, Jed."

"We didn't have a choice," he said weakly.

She shook her head. "If we could do it over, I'd do it exactly the same way. But we need to move on. And once we move on, we can help the country move on. You can't win reelection with this hanging over our heads," she wisely told him.

He knew she was right. He _knew_ she was right. Jed sat down beside her on the sofa. "I just hate that you're doing this again. I thought I was done making you sacrifice yourself."

She reached over and gently took his hand in hers. "Jed, if I'd married that ditch-digger, he'd still be a ditch-digger. And I'd be running my own hospital by now. But there are things worth sacrificing for. _You_ are worth sacrificing for. Everything that you are and everything you're capable of. My god, Jed, look what you've done! And I think we both know it wouldn't have been possible if I hadn't made sacrifices. But I wouldn't have made those sacrifices if I didn't know in my very soul that you could do it." She paused, letting tears fall freely down her cheeks and stain her makeup. "So let me sacrifice for you, okay?"

Jed reached out and pulled her into his arms. He caressed her hair, hugging her close. "You are…" he trailed off with a sigh, which turned into a chuckle. "None of my words seem to be enough today."

Abbey sniffed back her emotions. "Just tell me again," she said simply.

He pulled away just enough to take her face in his hands. He looked directly into her eyes. "I love you. Very much."

She nodded, her face crinkling as she began to cry in earnest.

Jed held her tight. "Shhh, it's okay honey. Everything is okay."

Abbey forced herself to take deep breaths and wiped away her tears as best she could, getting mascara all over her face and hands. She readjusted herself to sit with her legs curled beneath her and her head resting on Jed's shoulder.

He held her hand, gently stroking the soft skin with his thumb. "Thank you for everything in my life," he whispered.

"And thank you for everything in my life," she replied in a shaky voice.

They sat in the quiet, listening to the sound of each other's breathing. Jed's mind swirled with a thousand thoughts, the words moving too quickly for him to catch any of them to describe his feelings. It was the ultimate failing of men, he decided, to lack the self-awareness that seemed to come so easily to women.

"I bet you're not too happy that Lord John is an official ambassador so you and Leo can't kick him out of the White House."

Her teasing had come out of nowhere, as it often did, and Jed silently thanked the Lord that he was lucky enough to have her as his wife. "I swear to God, that man is impossible. He's not allowed within ten feet of you anymore."

"Gonna make that an executive order?"

"You know, I think I will."

Abbey gave a small laugh. "If you promise to be nice to him, I'll let _you_ grasp my breasts."

Jed couldn't help himself. His whole body began to shake with laughter. Abbey sat up and moved to sit on his lap. Her smile was wide and happy and it made her nose wrinkle in that way he loved so much. He calmed down, smiling quietly at her, waiting for her to make another move. Ever so slowly, Abbey leaned in for a kiss. Their lips moved against one another in a sensual rhythm. Jed's fingers found the zipper of her dress as she deftly undid his bowtie. When one remaining salty tear made its way to his mouth, Jed paused, taking a moment to look into her eyes. Every truth between them, spoken and unspoken, shone in her green eyes. "Happy birthday, Abbey," he whispered before resuming their fiery kiss.


End file.
